‘But I paid for it already!’: Woman Pays $800 for a Bridesmaid Dress Just to Get Kicked Out of the Wedding Last Minute

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morganleason
Jul 8, 2023 1:00 PM EDT

Sometimes we have to be strong and choose ourselves, even if that means disappointing the people close to us. We know that sounds selfish and can be especially difficult for our silly people pleasers, but it is important to choose ourselves at times.

Being a "people pleaser" isn't necessarily a bad thing. It means that you are considerate of others and know how to accommodate others' needs. Still, when that energy is not reciprocated, it is no longer worth going out on a limb for that person.

This conversation came up on Reddit where a woman had to choose between attending her brother's wedding or going on a relaxing vacation. After being seriously disrespected by the almost-weds, she decided to take the vacation instead. When asked their opinion, Reddit users went off. I guess the story struck a chord with them…

Check out the story below and let us know if you agree!

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  • 01
    Font - WIBTA if I go on vacation instead of my brothers wedding?
    via u/trashgirlfriend
  • 02
    Font - My brother Tom (36m) and I (26f) have never had a really solid relationship, due to our age gap we didn't spend much time and by the time I was old enough to develop a personality he was moved out of the house.
    via u/trashgirlfriend
  • 03
    Font - For the last two years my brother and his fiance Sarah (32f) have been planning their wedding. And it's coming up in September. I was asked to be a bridesmaid. I figured i was only asked as a courtesy since I'm her soon to be sister in law but I still took it seriously. I have been a bridesmaid for the last two years. Just a few weeks ago I managed to save up to buy the 800 dollar bridesmaid dress. Over all in the last two years between group outings to parties, dinners, lunches, clothes,
    via u/trashgirlfriend
  • 04
    Font - Sarah recently got close with her brother's wife Becky (30f). Last week she dropped the ball on me that she no longer wants me to be a bridesmaid and she would prefer if Becky would take my place. It broke my heart a little but it's her wedding and it's not my place to tell her how to run it so I said it was fine. Yesterday I went to my brother's house to pick up the bridesmaid's dress, and was going to see if I could return it since it was within the time frame.
    via u/trashgirlfriend
  • 05
    Font - Sarah was completely appalled and said that Becky was going to wear it since she and I are the same size. I said that would be fine, but they would have to pay me the 800 for it. Sarah said that Becky couldn't afford and I should just be nice and let her use it and said that I could keep it after the wedding.
    via u/trashgirlfriend
  • 06
    Font - I explained that I'm not just giving away the dress, and I'm not ever going to usei after the wedding. After some bickering back and forth I just ended up taking it and leaving. My brother and Sarah tried to compromise with me, and say I could be "the assistant flower girl" and I felt offended at the offer. After I said no, they then said that Becky could give me 250 bucks for it. Again no and I returned the dress and got a full refund.
    via u/trashgirlfriend
  • 07
    Font - I told them I understand that it's their wedding but they are being extremely disrespectful to me and I don't need to deal with it and I'm not going to the wedding. Today my coworker says she has an extra round trip plane ticket to go to Miami that she'll sell to me for half price plus I would have to pay for half the hotel and I can go hang out with her in Florida. The only downside is that I'll be in Florida for the week of my brother's wedding. So will I be the asshole if I just go par
    via u/trashgirlfriend
  • 08
    Rectangle - Auntie-Mam69. 15 hr. ago NTA. Go to Miami. A wedding is not an event where a soon-to-be SIL and your own brother cr p all over you and you smile and take it. Reply Share 28.1k
    via Auntie-Mam69
  • 09
    Font - Prudent_Plan_6451 · 13 hr. ago A 26 year old assistant flower girl? Really? How insulting. OP, one of the nice things about declining an invitation is that you need not give a gift. A card of congratulations is all etiquette requires. And I think you've already overspent (both literally and emotionally) on this wedding. 11.1k Reply Share
    via Prudent_Plan_6451
  • 10
    Font - michiness 13 hr. ago Partassipant [1] If it's the original plan, an adult flower girl/boy can rock it. I've seen people do dances, throw petals at guests, just absolutely dial the silliness up to 11. But as an afterthought, potentially following a little girl... hell nah. Go to Miami. Have a good time. 3.8k Reply Share
    via michiness
  • 11
    Font - Prudent_Plan_6451 · 13 hr. ago I think it's the assistant part that got me. Maybe the bride was counting on her to babysit the Official Head Flower Girl? 42.5K Reply Share
    via Prudent_Plan_6451
  • 12
    Font - ravynwave 13 hr. ago I'm sure OP would have to babysit all the children that are there. 도 1.1k Reply Share
    via ravynwave
  • 13
    Font - Squibit314 12 hr. ago S Partassipant [1] Assistant to the Regional Flower Girl - for the Office fans. û 1.5k Reply
    via Squibit314
  • 14
    Font - Ventsel 13 hr. ago I wonder if the Head Flower Girl is by any chance Becky's daughter... ↑ 497 ↓ Reply
    via Ventsel
  • 15
    Font - ritan7471 13 hr. ago Partassipant [1] ● My parents were married in 1970 and they were hippies. They had a 30 year old flower boy and got married in the Japanese Gardens where I'm from. My favorite picture is of him skipping along in his loincloth joyously flinging rose petals everywhere. 1.1k Reply Share
    via ritan7471
  • 16
    Font - gillybomb101 12 hr. ago I wonder if he's still around and has the loincloth. I had absolutely zero intention of getting married until right now 4 533 Reply Share
    via gillybomb101
  • 17
    Font - HappyBeagle73. 11 hr. ago From this comment I'm not sure if you want to marry the guy in the loincloth, or if you want to have a wedding so you can have your own flower man in a loincloth, LOL 289 Reply
    via HappyBeagle73
  • 18
    Font - Madsen13 12 hr. ago My husband and I just got married in May. We had a "flower dude" who danced and passed out White Claws and 50ml bottles of alc hol to people. It was the highlight of our wedding. 474 Reply Share
    via Madsen13
  • 19
    Font - Kduckulous 13 hr. ago My friends wedding recently had the brides 2 adult brothers as beer boys... they walked down the aisle with waistbands full of beer and handed them out to guests along the aisles ↑ 238 Reply Share
    via Kduckulous
  • 20
    Font - BlocktheBleak 13 hr. ago NTA When they tried to steal back the dress and the title it felt like the signal was that they want to uninvite you from the head table, but still get the gifts and the brownie points for inviting you. This is up there with theft and gaslighting. Thanks for attending events and sharing the tab but she has a new best friend and will probably drop her as soon as she makes a new bestie. Sometimes, you just have to let people show you who they are and believe them. 9
    via BlocktheBleak
  • 21
    Font - On PopcornandComments 12 hr. ago If I were OP, I would also email the SIL's bridal party (the ones she became close with over the year) to let them know what the bride decided to do. Perhaps, SIL's friend group might decide to skip the wedding and go to Miami too. 423 Reply Share
    via PopcornandComments
  • 22
    Font - NotNormally Here 12 hr. ago Partassipant [2] ● I wouldn't even send a card -- or even a congratulatory text -- to these people. Asking her to step down (essentially because she now likes her other SIL better) is incredibly rude and insulting. Then add in the bullshit about the dress, and the fact that OP's already done 2 years of over-the-top bridesmaid duty and spent too much money. Brother and FSIL deserve no common courtesy whatsoever at this point. 551 Reply Share
    via NotNormallyHere
  • 23
    Font - Prudent Plan_6451 12 hr. ago I was thinking a card with a generic congratulatory sentiment and no cash gift enclosed would be a great f ck you. 246 Reply Share
    via Prudent_Plan_6451
  • 24
    Font - Weird PinkHair - 12 hr. ago A 'Congratulations! Hope I can make your next wedding.' would be even better! But I'm petty like that. ↑ 292 Reply Share
    via WeirdPinkHair
  • 25
    Font - DontTakeMyAdviceHere 13 hr. ago Partassipant [1] Assistant flower girl equals childcare is expected. NTA - they really sound awful and entitled. ↑ 346 Reply Share
    via DontTakeMyAdviceHere
  • 26
    Font - wiscondinavian 13 hr. ago ● I'm in my 30s and would totally do that for a friend's wedding if the wedding party was all family, lol, but definitely not as a "downgrade" from bridesmaid. They should have just added another bridesmaid. People get so worked up about having equal sides 225 Reply Share
    via wiscondinavian
  • 27
    Font - LuvTriangleApologist 12 hr. ago Yeah, I mean, I love playing with my nieces and nephews, don't drink, and would probably love to have that job at a wedding, and even I would be horribly offended if it was offered after I spent $800 on a bridesmaid dress and was told to step down from being a bridesmaid. 95 Reply Share
    via LuvTriangleApologist
  • 28
    Font - Rodney_Copperbottom 13 hr. ago "Assistant to the flower girl." 4 T 179 Reply
    via Rodney_Copperbottom
  • 29
    Font - PravinI123 13 hr. ago Partassipant [2] · Nta...if rather go to Miami instead of a wedding where both my brother and soon to be wife have no regard for me. The nerve of them to ask you to give the dress to the new bridesmaid for free and then offering to make you...a grown ass woman...an assistant flower girl? Wtf does that even mean? After how disrespectful both of them were, I wouldn't attend either. Have fun in Miami Y 476 Reply Share ●●●
    via PravinI123
  • 30
    Font - Gardener999 13 hr. ago Have a wonderful vacation in Miami! 249 Reply Share
    via Gardener999

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quit your bullshit boyfriend FAIL strong disrespectful selfish please am i the asshole relationships girlfriend priorities love Reddit weddings vacation self love energy
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